THE TRUE MAN'S SHOW with THE MANGLER!

DALE "THE MIRROR": Thanks! Thanks a lot. Here we meet again, at this, the TRUE MAN'S SHOW. Across the months, I've had a chance to chat with some of the most colorful characters in the wrestling world, and each and every one of them has given us his/her idea of what a TRUE MAN should be. My guest tonight is very different to all the others, but before I introduce him... let me talk to you about this oak desk I'm sitting at right now. It has its history, I hear it was used by Edgar Hoover to keep track of his commie scans early in this century... it's also been said it belonged to General Westmoreland and concealed secrets of state and other strange stuff about Vietnam...

*A loud snore is simulated by a fan, making the rest of the audience laugh*

DALE "THE MIRROR": Hmm. Ok, I guess you are right... I haven't come to teach you history, nor put you in a coma. Why should we have come here if it wasn't to kick it?

*Crowd erupts*

DALE "THE MIRROR": Let's just put this "historical desk" aside for a while, And the show goes on. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a Superstar from the CIWA. He is a man who knows how to inflict pain on his opponents... thanks to the heavens I haven't had to face him! *crowd laughter*But putting jokes aside... here is THE MANGLER!!!

*After struggling with the curtain for a few minutes, the Mangler walks out from back while the crowd erupts. The Mangler is wearing his trademark baggy, black, torn up jeans and a button up, red and black checkered flannel shirt. It is unbuttoned and underneath we can see a black CIWA t-shirt. On his leg is his proudly worn Hardcore Championship belt, which causes him to walk akwardly. The Mangler waves to the crowd while he trips over the steps leading up to the stage and hits his face flat on the ground. Blood starts to pour out of his mouth but he doesn't seem to notice as he pops to his feet and walks up to Dale and shakes his hand. The crowd noise starts to die down.*

DALE "THE MIRROR": Mangler, welcome to the TRUE MAN'S SHOW. Before we kick out, please provide us with some info about yourself and your recent conflicts over the squared circle.

MANGLER: Well.... first of off.... most of my matches don't happen in a circle or square.... or even in the arena for that matter.... I have won more matches out of the ring than anyone else.... in the CIWA.... or maybe even in the entire.... UWAC.... you see, I don't like to have your everyday matches.... I like to add to them.... and since I have the belt around my waist.... the matches I want go.... that way.... one thing all of my opponents quickly learn is that you can't hurt me.... and do you want to know why you can't hurt me?.... it is because I CAN'T FEEL PAIN!!!!....

DALE "THE MIRROR": WHOA! Somebody who feels NO pain!! How does it work?

MANGLER: I wish I knew.... there is nothing I want more than to be able to feel pain.... but this nice Championship of Pain.... leg wrapping.... is a nice substitute.... that way everyone knows that I am the God of Pain....

DALE "THE MIRROR": OK, I'm sure all non-CIWAers will now have a better idea of what The Mangler is all about. A few days ago, I heard Dr. Pain's interview, and he had something to tell you. Please comment on him and the House of Pain.

MANGLER: The House of Pain.... is a good group of friends of mine.... Dr. Pain has been helping me.... try to feel pain.... but as you know.... we have been unsuccessful.... Dr. Pain.... will be better when I get back into town.... we miss each other....

DALE "THE MIRROR": This is an old subject, I asked Parks last time about the "DCWL-IWL merging" conflict, and if it should be done. Since you come from the CIWA too, and aren't involved in such situation, what do you
think, should that be done?

MANGLER: I have heard rumors of that.... and I think it would prove to be interesting.... I have also heard that the same might be done with.... the CIWA and the COW.... no, the OWC.... which I would like because that would mean.... more people for me to teach what Pain truly is....

DALE "THE MIRROR": That seems to be over anyway, now that Dach Anselmo is in charge... *Putting on an insane face* Now... tell us about your nickname. How did you get it?

MANGLER: Look at me.... I have been mangled.... but I enjoy Mangling people.... it is what the Mangler does....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Hmm. Does it have anything to do with your speech? I mean, you speak in short statements... Is there some special reason for that?

MANGLER: I took.... a 50 pound bag of rocks to the throat.... one time trying to feel pain.... haven't talked the same since....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Ouch! *holds his own throat* Let's change the subject, shall we? OVERDRIVE: THE END is the upcoming PPV in UWAC's calendar. Will you make a run to be a part of it, and if so, what kind of match would you prefer to wrestle at an event of such caliber?

MANGLER: Of course I want to be a part of it.... it would be great in the entire Pain House.... could be in it... what kind of match would I like to wrestle in it?.... well that is an easy one... it would be against the Curator.... and it would be a ladder match.... with my title held up above the ring.... but there is a catch... there is no ladder.... so the only way to get the belt.... is by jumping off the catwalks above the ring.... and grabbing it on the way down.... that would be great....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Well, let's see what shakes loose in the future. Ready for Name Association?

MANGLER: Yeah.... I have trained long and hard for this....

DALE "THE MIRROR": DCWL TV Champion, Traxx the Man-Droid.

MANGLER: I thought that there was a stipulation that you had to be human.... to wrestle....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Joe "Legs" Baruffi.

MANGLER: You mean Auntie Em?.... Originater of the Pain House....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Two-time DCWL World Champion, Jose Garces.

MANGLER: What?.... I like it with.... sour cream....

DALE "THE MIRROR": CIWA's president, Blake Coleman.

MANGLER: He gave me an incredible contract.... with lots of chicken feathers....

DALE "THE MIRROR": The Predators.

MANGLER: Ummmmm.... no....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Former UWAC Commissioner, Jon-Paul D�cosse.

MANGLER: Great man.... brought me into the UWAC AD.... and it has been straight up from there on out....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Mang, we're almost out of time. Please, before we go... tell us what a TRUE MAN should be like.

MANGLER: Tell you.... why don't I show you?....

*The Mangler walks off the set much to the surprise of Dale. We can hear a lot of banging and crashing in the back and then it goes silent for a few minutes. Finally, a lady in the crowd points up into the air and yells out:*

LADY: Look, there he is!!!

*A spotlight shines up above the stage area and we can see The Mangler walking among the lights. He reaches another ladder and climbs up even higher. Finally, he takes postition above Dale's desk on stage and waves to the crowd again and takes a dive. The Mangler comes hurling towards the ground and Dale has to jump out of the way to avoid being hit by the falling Mangler!*

CRASH!!!

*The Mangler crashes through Dale's desk on stage causing splinters of wood to go flying everywhere. He lies there motionless for a few seconds and then he starts to twitch. Finally, he sits up and the crowd erupts again as he gets to his feet, not seeming to be bothered by what he just did. The Mangler then looks at Dale.*

MANGLER: There.... that is what a TRUE MAN is....

DALE "THE MIRROR": Point made, definitely. See you at the next SHOW!! Geez, well, the desk was too old anyway...

*Screen inverts and then fades to black*

>:) (:<